New and improved...

Anyone who has seen me knows that I am morbidly obese. I've tried many times to diet. The one diet I was successful with was when were were juicing. Found out that the veggie juice before a meal helps speed up your metabolism naturally, besides just being good for you. We quit for the time factor. But it was such a healthy time in my life that I think I have to find a way to do it again. I think I might have a chance at making it all work now. I have taken antidepressants most of my adult life. Sometimes I really resent it and for a while I felt it must be a spiritual inadequacy. But now I know that it's not. It appears to just be a chemical imbalance like thyroid or insulin can get imbalanced. However, the past several months I've really fought the depression. A few weeks ago I saw my doctor and he gave me Abilify in the lowest dose possible. He said it may turn out to be a God-send for me. I think it is. It has indeed lifted the cloud that so engulfed me, but it has calmed my brain too. As a young adult, I was an alcoholic. I have always craved and overdosed on sugar. That feeling of desperation is gone. It's like I see things balanced now---the way I knew in my head things were, but could never believe in my heart or the infamous "feel." I'm seeing reality for what it is and for the first time see it as possible to not just live with, but work on without the Eore "ho-hum" swamping my being. It's pretty exciting because I feel like a "real person" which I haven't felt for a very long time.

The best part of how I'm feeling is that my weight is tackleable now! I think I could do some juicing. I think I can fight the cravings---they feel much more like wants than insatiable starvation! I think I can even get up and do something without worrying about the pain or fatigue (fibromyalgia/chronic fatigue). I don't expect to be glamorous at my age, but I'd love to be as healthy as I can be. I'll have grandchildren before too long and I want to play! I ask for your prayers to keep the can-do attitude and to not miss making the most of every opportunity to be healthy. I pray it for all of you, too. We are God's temple. It's time renovate and redecorate!