You will make known to me the path of life....

I've been doing a study on Luke by Elizabeth George. Luke has plenty of those hard sayings of Jesus. In recent years I realize I've ignored the tough verses and like to read the gentle and soothing passages. Am I getting soft in my old age? or worse yet, is my faith getting soft? Another thing I've questioned is am I doing anything to further the kingdom? For years I taught my children and others at home and in Sunday school. Due to my health and the fact that the kids are grown, I haven't been doing much of that. I find myself hardening at times at work. Inconvenient phone calls get the cold treatment. Yes, they're salesmen and may be pushy themselves, but I don't need to push back. I wouldn't do that away from the office. Why let myself do it there? I've settled for less because I'm old and tired, it seems. What am I doing now that I didn't then--or should I say what was I doing then that I'm not doing now? I work out of the home is the biggest difference I can see. I do feel rushed and tired from that. But many women work away from home just as many hours or more and still have time to be godly and faithful to the call. My health is worse, but hopefully it will improve with diet. I guess I don't have as much physical energy, but can't God supply what I lack with spiritual energy? I need to slow down and ponder more the scripture I do study and not just rush through to get one more thing done. Right now my Bible time is like a hard rain that runs off without much benefit. I need to take more time and let it gently rain watering my weariness and teaching me again to take time at the Master's feet. Then I'll see more clearly where God wants me in ministry in this changed time of my life. Things are different for me, but they don't have to be negatively so unless I let them. I don't think I will settle for less. I need to take action. I don't need to climb the rockiest cliff to do it. There's plenty to do where I am as I am. I just need to listen and learn again, and then walk every path He shows me, stepping out with joy because I've been well watered. That I can do.

Precious somethings.......

Precious somethings are those unsolicited things that are spoken to you or are done for you. Things like when my first born threw her arms around me when a toddler and out of the blue said, "I love you, Mommy." Or when she was a teen and we would be walking through the mall and she'd drape her arm across my shoulders. We'd walk along, arm in arm, like best buds. She was never embarrassed to show her affection. Then most recently, since she's been married and left our home, when she facebooked me with, "I just wanted to say I love you, Mommy." Back on Mother's day my new son-in-law sent me flowers. The best part was he addressed me as "Mom" which was another precious moment I wasn't expecting. Nothing lifts my spirits like a text from my son, "What are you doing for lunch?" Spending it with you, Son! Then after a school orientation, I left him talking to his group of friends and he scolded me for leaving without saying goodbye. Or the times we're driving home separately from functions and he actually kisses me goodbye in public! I tried to encourage them to keep diaries. The response was "Why? I tell you everything!" Other precious somethings are the hours of sleep we've lost because we stayed up talking about their hearts' desires--or heartbreaks. I wouldn't trade those times for all the sleep in China! Motherhood holds so many of these precious somethings. I'm so grateful for the times they drift back into my consciousness to make me smile again. I may lose my mind, but God forbid I lose my memories of my precious somethings.

Slow and steady.....

I've been dieting for a month and a half now and lost about 14 pounds. Tomorrow I weigh again and maybe it'll be more. Today finally people are beginning to say something. I don't notice a big difference in clothes or the mirror myself, but then agai,n I look every day. The people who commented don't see me regularly. I'm ecstatic that somebody can tell. I've been pleasantly surprised at my will-power to stick with it. I have weak moments but my desire to lose the weight finally out-weighs my desire to have it my way when I want it. Maybe this time next year I'll be a skinny little thing! I'll be happy to be a healthy little thing. I pray it helps my knees and hips, as would seem logical. I really think that the Lord has helped me most of all. Maybe it's not my willpower but His sustaining power. I'm so grateful for it. For all the years I ignored His promptings, I'm blessed that He still messes with me. But that's the way He is. If He can have such patience with me, I can have the patience to lose the weight. I know He's been bringing me a long slowly and steadily through the years. He's so faithful. I can hang with Him to watch Him wittle the weight away as I'm faithful to the road He's given me back to health.

My beloved husband just bought me a new laptop! I'll probably start blogging again like I should have been all along. God's been so faithful and I never talk about it. It's a sin too many of us commit. How much do we think about what all He does daily for us much less thank Him for it. As silly as it may sound to many, He brought my computer just in time for me to have time to enjoy it. He gave me the energy to get some housework done this morning--that's quite a gift with my fibromyalgia and daily uncertainty of ability. He's sustained me through my back pain which I foolishly caused by trying to pick up the suitcase by myself! He's merciful too through our silly foolishment. This is just all in my own little world that I can think of off the top of my head. God is so good. I challenge us all to find those gifts He gives us moment by moment, to be aware of His beloved and magnificent activity in our lives, and then to thank Him. I remember memorizing "The chief end of man is to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever." How I love to think of that and realizing just how enjoyable God is!