Here we are....

It's been a terribly long time since I've written and I apologize. Since I last wrote, my son has been trying to get into the Army until just the other day we finally got the final word. It's a resounding no after two waivers and doctor reports. He has a heart murmur that is of no consequence to any cardiologist except the Army. Oh well. He's very disappointed, but he's not beat. He may go for the police and he may go into ministry, which in my opinion both are similar! For now he's trying to enroll in Criswell College, a local Bible college, because either way he needs college. He also wants to move out and live with friends. He'll have to work an awful lot to do that to make his bills and still have time for school. He knows, he knows, I'm told. Somehow him doing all that is more of a concern to me than the Army was! I myself have been involved in a Celebrate Recovery program. If you don't know, it's a twelve step program that is based on scripture. It's basically steps to help you in your sanctification by dealing with pesky sins, hangups, and hurts. I love it. It's been very helpful. It's helped me pinpoint problems I knew I had, but didn't know specifically what to do with them or what caused them. The Bible tells us to make a reasonable assessment of ourselves not thinking more highly of ourselves than we ought. The program has helped me make that assessment. I have gotten myself in better perspective in both not thinking too highly, but not too lowly either. It's so freeing! I would wish it for everyone. CR is a most useful tool for a Christian. Besides improving my relationship with Christ Jesus, it has brought me some dear friendships. One in particular. We were surprised at our similarities despite our differences. We start together in a save place and each is devoted to keeping each other safe by the shared need. Many have come having been betrayed too often. So a second reward is the friends of the high caliber one makes. My little group is about halfway through the steps. The hardest part was the inventory of my life where I shared with a select few all my hurts I've endured and sins I committed. But in the complete Serenity Prayer it talks about hardships being a pathway to peace. Once I gave the inventory, I did feel peace. The amends that I thought I could never make, I'm ready and happy to make. The Bible says to confess one's sins to another and that's what the inventory giving is based on. God is so wise! Some of us need that. My weariness is gone. I do sing a new song. I'm not fixed, unfortunately, but I know over time I'm becoming. I'm better. I catch myself now more often before the offense and stop rather than after I sin. It's growth and growth does take time. And it's so good to be free to grow! God is great to have brought me to this place.