Self-forgiveness and God's forgiveness...

The subject of forgiving oneself has come up lately, and I realize I have been able to do that. I'm curious as to why, but I've noticed that the Bible doesn't address forgiving oneself directly either. But I think the most influential realization that helped me forgive myself, is that God does address us to forgive others. In this case, myself is another. After all, forgiving others is a command and is as important for ourselves as it is for the other person. It frees us both from bondage. I realized I needed to obey God to forgive myself. Also, He forgave me. One day it hit me, am I superior to God that I can override His forgiveness? Am I greater than Him that I know better than He does? Who am I to think that I should not forgive myself when God found it right to forgive me? 1 John 1:9 says that "If you confess your sins, God is faithful and just to forgive us our sin and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." If I don't forgive myself, I am holding on to my sin, and I'm not accepting His forgiveness or cleansing either. It reminds me of when God was talking to Job. "Where were you when..." Where am I and who am I that I would say God didn't do enough to pay for my sin in total? He gave His only Son for me. Jesus endured increadible humiliation and excruciating pain, separating Himself from God to pay for my sin. Do I dare ask Him to do more? I love Gary McSpadden's song "It Was Enough" about just that. It was enough. I didn't want to be more guilty of not forgiving myself! I think that's partof the cleansing of all unrighteousness. He takes the guilt too, so we don't have to keep it. I also think holding on to the guilt and not forgiving myself was giving Satan a victory. He loves for us to not own our forgiveness. He loves for us to carry our burdens long after Christ took them. He loves it when we don't totally surrender to His forgiveness. It's almost pride for me to hang on to unforgiveness of myself as much as to another. It is pride. No one wants to say what we did is okay, and forgiveness isn't saying it's okay. It is saying that the sin was paid for. It's humbling that I caused Jesus to die and suffer by this. It can even be humiliating and I think that's why it took me so long to give it up. But in showing me the truth in all this, God broke me. He took my sin. He took away my guilt. He gave me new life and wholeness. If He didn't, then He isn't God, but He is! I have to hold on to God's truth that He is who He says He is and He does what He says He can do. I'm determined not to give Satan any more victory over me than he's already had in my life. Sometimes that's a constant battle because he likes to recall to my mind every sin, but I will not give in to it. Sometimes I actually scream NO! to rid the thought, but hey, whatever works to keep from believing the lies! I like what Kay Arthur says to do--"Philippians 4:8 it." Is it true, honorable...etc. "Is it true" usually clears it up right there. If God is who He says He is, and He is, then I am who He says I am---a new creature and fully forgiven. How can I not forgive myself? Also I think to forgive myself also pleases God because it's part of His will for me. Too often I'm not in God's will, but I like to be in my God's will and please my Abba Father. So anything good and pleasing I've learned to do, I want to hang on to! God's mercies are new every morning. I'll cling to all of them!